Rock steady

I can only think of one word to describe my life right now, intense. At first I thought insane but that implies that something is wrong and there isn’t anything wrong. However my life is good. Maybe better than good--let’s just say I’m satisifed with where I am and where I’m going. It’s far from perfect but I’m wise enough to admit that it probably never will be.

I think often we get caught up in the nonsense. We, well I, allow one simple thing to ruin an entire day. I’m trying to be better about this but I feel like I’ve grown so much in the past year that a few imperfections are acceptable. I’m a work in progress and that’s just fine. I like to think the me I am today is a product of the shortcomings I have overcome.

I’m so ready to be done with school and just be a working class citizen. All my life, seriously since I was old enough I was going to school, babysitting, working various jobs and still surviving. Sure it’d be amazing if my parents paid for my college, my rent, my car....you see the idea, the list could go on and on. But, thankfully, those weren’t the cards I was dealt. I know when I get to that “place” in life I’ll be more appreciative and better for it but right now juggling work and school and not having a social life are taking their toll. I don’t think I’d have it any other way though. One of my flaws is not being able to slow down. I go, go, go. It’s how I am. Maybe it’s because that’s always been what seemed like the only option.

Lately I’ve been going to church. I wonder and question my beliefs constantly. I believe in God because it makes me feel secure but it goes against many valid scientific theories that I know, there is proof, are correct. It sounds a bit ridiculous but I think my half assed attempts at believing in a God are legit even if I always wonder.

Oh and I’d like to say Thank You to Texas for no longer being a whore and finally showing me some sunshine. It’s much appreciated even if I only get to enjoy it as I walk from class to class or hand out prescriptions through the drive-thru.

I’ll leave you with this...